I hear Conan, The Barbarian. It’s the ringtone on my phone. I ignore it. I’m way too engaged in watching the YouTube video of my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu team at Cobra Kai Jiu Jitsu that a teammate of mine made . It’s a test trailer that he’s put together and I hadn’t had a chance to watch it earlier when I was at work. I was too busy…working.
Conan gets louder so I relent, click the button on my Bluetooth, and answer without checking to even see who it is. I get a “Hello!” from the other line that has a toothy grin behind it that I can see through the phone.
She tell/asks me “You’re into all that gory, vomit-inducing, vulgar type of horror aren’t you?!”
It’s Yellow Rose.
Yellow Rose is a friend who’s like the Operator in The Matrix. She’s a hub of information and connections with more tricks up her sleeve than a Vegas magician. Just the kind of friend you can rely on to get you in trouble, and have fun doing it.
Like I said, I can hear her smiling through the phone and I can’t help but to start grinning myself. “Indeed!” I answer. Pausing the video just as my coach Sim Go is at the center of the action.
To give you a bit of context, I have been a fan of horror since I was a kid. I was always a voracious reader and my parents fed me a steady diet of books. My dad always enjoyed horror and when he was finished, he’d give them to me. I read The Omen  as well as The Exorcist  when I was nine! Books like that whet my appetite for visceral horror! My favorite director in film is Takeshi Miike from Japan. A true master of horror! If you want a quick one-hour sample of his talent, watch Imprint . You can thank me later!
Getting back to the main plot, Yellow Rose goes on to tell me that she’s getting together a group to visit The Goretorium. Eli Roth, the man who is often held up as the American father of “Torture-Porn” has opened an attraction on the Las Vegas strip. A 30-minute journey through live action set pieces of horror!
We met up outside The Goretorium with tickets in hand, because almost everything can be purchased at a discount if you buy early and online. The line is long but not as long as most Las Vegas attractions. It only takes 40 minutes until we are at the front of the line being given the warning about how our hearts and skulls may explode from the high concentration of fear and horror that we are about to endure. He goes on to inform us that they are in no way responsible for our mental welfare.
I was cool, calm, with no sweat in my palm as I casually inform him that I read The Omen and The Exorcist, WHEN I WAS NINE!
…He was not impressed.
We weren’t allowed to take any pictures/video inside, but I can tell you it was well worth the money. Each room had a level of detail that could easily allow you to mistake yourself for being inside a big budget Hollywood movie set.
Injecting a dismembered torso being defiled by a mechanical spider, just one of the many services they offered at The Goretorium!
The style of horror on display isn’t monsters or things that jump out and scare you; they are insane, horrid people committing inhuman atrocities on one another. Mad chefs cooking the faces of people right in front of you, insane women with razors chasing down visitors, buffets of rotting meat and cannibals feasting!
We made it through the gauntlet of fear with our faculties intact to be spat out through what felt like a birthing canal onto the dance floor of the Babydolls nightclub. A theme bar decorated with blood-spattered chairs and a wall decorated with the faces of, you guessed it; baby dolls! We were greeted by two late arrivals to the party, Dickman and Throbbin.
From there things got kinda gay, but that is another story.