On Intimidation.

To be intimidating a man needs to have the physical constitution competency of a fighter, the articulation of a statesman, and the brevity of a monk.

Choosing to be physically competent, particularly after my twenty-somethings make me an outlier. Being a kid that went from underweight and sickly, to overweight and portly, then finally rounding it out late in my high school career with weight lifting and martial arts I have seen both sides of the equation.

Being fit, specifically not being obese is a profound statement, considering that obesity is becoming more and more normal for Americans ~>  http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/adult.html

Constantly working on my fitness and achieving physical goals says that I have a fundamental level of discipline that can’t be faked, bought, or borrowed the way other markers of success and confidence can: jewellery, cars, and expensive toys come to mind.

The intersection between life experience and the bodes ability to make use of what the mind has learned is very, very intimidating

Once I was past my twenties, my choosing to remain physically competent became even more of an asset because when combined with a solid education, a diverse set of life experiences, and a worldly outlook, I became a man who other men feel comfortable doing business with and that women want to give their time and attention to.

My buddy Leadslinger is a dear friend who is a great guy. Articulate, well read, unafraid, and on the short list of men I would call if I found myself surrounded by bad guys. Unfortunately, he is also very fat. This causes him to be targeted by cowardly men who see him and disrespect him. Their thinking is what’s the worst he’s going to do? I can most likely out-fight him, or just run; either way, he can’t hurt me. I’m not suggesting that every time men disagree it turns physical.

Still, empirical research has shown us that men (sub-?) consciously ask themselves one important question when we meet other men. Can I take him out if I need to?! This isn’t restricted to violence, it could mean asking if I have the friends and resources to defend myself against him and the people behind him, corporate or personal, if needed. The problem is that information isn’t readily available, how he looks and carries himself is.

Even worse is his invisibility to women. They don’t like him or dislike him, they simply disregard him as if he was invisible, and that’s far more painful for him.

Speaking like a statesman does not mean that I have to “talk like I’m smart” or use expensive words. It just means that I am able to relate my thoughts, no matter how simple or complex, clearly. That’s no indicator of how smart/stupid I am. An advantage I gained when I was young was that I am able to express my thoughts clearly and quickly. The ability to let someone know exactly what’s going on in my mind gives me a distinct advantage. 

Being able to translate my thoughts into a something thats digestible to others makes it easier for me to gain allies. That too is very, very intimidating.

*Brevity is my weak point.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. ~Bene Gesserit

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
~ Bene Gesserit,
“Litany against fear.”

~Watt, still focusing on brevity.

YusefWateef (AT) Gmail.com


  1. Carla

    face your fear and do it anyway….. I don’t think the can I take them thing is a male thing more a human thing. Hope you’re still enjoying your current home. I’m sure your buddy is awesome – will he read this and if so how will he feel about it?

    Liked by 1 person

    • YusefWateef

      In all my travels and experience Can I take him out if I need to?! is rarely, if ever a “thing” for women. Still, maybe it’s different where you are.

      My buddy Leadslinger may read this. I just don’t think he will feel any differently about his situation. Change starts on the inside.


  2. Pingback: On Intimidation. | Manosphere.com
  3. LaTisha Sloderbeck

    I really like this perspective, Watt. It’s very Clear and concise, and your example brings to mind many of the people I know and the challenges they face because of choosing the alternative to what you advocate here.


  4. The Coiffed Natural

    I think for women (some) it is not so much physical in terms of exerting force but in terms of sexuality and feminine influence. Women (some) take great care in adorning their outward appearance because society promotes outward beauty. I see it all the time and unfortunately it becomes petty and downright aggravating to the extent that friendships are forged or destroyed on something as superficial as a pair of stilletos and a weave.

    People have told me that they found me intimidating (of course after they get to know me) because of the way I handle myself. I am very straightforward, articulate, and hate useless chit chat. Talking about pets and social media (for example) is boring and I refuse to have my time stolen with such nonsense. I have never been into the latest fads so I am usually judged as ” a nobody” but when I speak it settles the matter that the elevator does indeed go all the way to the top floor.

    As for brevity, it is a gift. Many people want it and too few strive to get it because it requires hard work: like analytic thinking and constantly looking at the man (woman) in the mirror, among other things.


  5. RT

    Great article. I find that when reading your writings I don’t have trouble understanding the point you are driving at, even if there is some background or layers to peel first. I find this ability analogous to mastering brevity (at least in the online world). In person, however, your anecdotes and conversations are a completely different story…


  6. Pingback: The Manosphere? The Manosphere! | Yusef Wateef, Adventurer!
  7. Pingback: White Mans Lynching. | Actionable Adventures!

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