So You Don’t Like Black Guys, & I Don’t Like Witches Roses!

So, You Don’t Like Black Guys?

That’s OK! 

Unfortunately, I have seen people of all races use their being told that they aren’t attractive as some sort of proof that racism exists.  That argument is a rotten piece of low-hanging fruit that disarms and discredits the real racial struggles that go on in the world! 

• It doesn’t mean you’re a racist.

• It doesn’t mean you’re a bigot.

• It doesn’t mean you’re scared!

It does mean:

• You’re ok with what you DO want!

• You’re not afraid to speak up for yourself.

• You’re not going to bow-down to Politically Correct wording and statements.

• You’ve stopped me from wasting my valuable time!


I was talking to a friend with whom I want to commit several acts of unrepentant debauchery with, and I was told, “I’m not really into Black Guys”.


I smiled at her, not because I was making fun of the situation but because knowing that freed me up to know exactly what’s going on.

We had quite a conversation over it! I had to comfort my friend and explain that there is nothing wrong with what she said! We all have preferences, unfortunately, we also have he “Politically Correct Police” monitoring our every move trying to convince us that if we don’t want to do everything with everyone equally then there is something wrong with us.


If we aren’t able to pursue what turns us on and avoid what doesn’t then what’s the point of having a (relatively) free and open country anyway?

Feel free to substitute the words “Black Guys” with:

• Gay

• Straight

• Fat

• Skinny

• White

• Brown

• Big Breasted

• Small Breasted

• (Is “Breasted” even the right word?)

• Short

• Tall

• Nice guys/girls

• Ugly

• Older or Younger than you

• Or whatever it is that YOU are! I know several people who won’t date anyone within their on race!

One of my biggest assets is that I have never had any hang-ups or constraints about the women I am attracted to.  It varies based on who she is and what she brings to the table for me.  

The more we all learn to honestly opt-into what we want from others in life, the happier we become!

The antithesis of what I’m talking about are my friends who hate what they are so much that they refuse to give anyone a chance to be a part of their life because they believe anyone who finds them attractive has flawed thinking.

I know Men and Women who whine and moan about *being objectified* (and I say that with 100% sarcasm) because someone approached them with “Wow, I think your (insert physical characteristic) is sexy/beautiful, and I would love to get to know you”.

People who can’t stand being desired really aggravate me!

I understand that anyone who finds me attractive, has a thing for men with a shaved head, thickly muscled arms, and an anti-hero demeanor.  Because that’s a part of who I am on the surface!

Those are the characteristics that get people in the door.  Once they engage me they find out I am a lot like the Tardis, there is more on the inside that can possibly be seen on the outside. In fact, it’s billed as “Bigger on the inside”.

It’s up to me to show you that my heart is the same way! 

Those of us who people find approachable enough to actually talk to have no room to complain.  Most folks I’ve met in this world are not attractive to many people and they would love to have the problem of being objectified. We can’t choose where love and attraction will come from in our lives.  We need to appreciate it when it’s there for us to have.

Now, let’s cross a line.

The line between healthy objectification and stalking!

Pomba Gira das Sete Encruzilhadas (Pomba Gira of the Seven Crossroads)

Pomba Gira das Sete Encruzilhadas (Pomba Gira of the Seven Crossroads)

Take a look at the picture of the seven roses crossed together on the right.  Take a good, long mental picture so you can keep it at the front of your brain when I tell you that it went from being something beautiful that I saw laid at my doorstep, to a symbol that has me sincerely concerned in less than one day.

When I saw the roses I thought it was just a beautiful symbol, perhaps even a gift for me.  The only thing that makes me stop and take a picture so I could ask my friends about it was when I saw how deliberately they were laid out and woven into intersections.

As it turns out, those roses are the symbol for “Pomba Gira, Rainha Sete Encruzilhadas!” (Pomba Gira, The Queen Of The  Seven Crossroads!)

Who is Pomba Gira?  (Pronounced “Pohm-ba Shira”) A quick Wikipedia search will get you a safe, dry explanation that is summed up as such:

Pomba Gira, Mistress Of Witchcraft personifies female beauty, sexuality, and desire. She is viewed as a beautiful woman who is insatiable. Pomba Gira is venerated with great respect and care, as her worshippers concede that her wrath can be firm and strong. She is often invoked by those who seek aid in matters of the heart and love.

Clearly, I had to dig deeper.  I dug through books on the Orishas (Saints, not Gods) and their incarnations, specifically Pomba Gira.  I stuck to things written by Africans and Brazilians.  

Then I talked to a witch I know who studies things of this nature, and my Brazilian friends who referred me on to their mothers and grandmothers, who had even older friends who follow CandombléUmbanda and/or Quimbanda.  Faiths that trace their history back past Brazil, past Portugal, Past Spain,  into Africa.

If they were right, as I am inclined to believe, then someone who follows their faith was invoking a very specific manifestation of Pomba Gira.  They also said that I was right to be concerned.  They just told me DO NOT TOUCH IT, and to think long and hard on any women in my life who may be inclined to things like this, or ritualistic magik in general.

This is where I should mention that I fully understand my lack of Faith will in no way protect me from someone else’s acts of faith.  So yes, I was am concerned.

From what I have read and been told, I should not fall for the Anglicization of Pomba Gira.  She is not a simple sexy goddess that you can flippantly call upon because you want to spite an ex-lover.  She represents Womens Lust, Sexuality, haughtiness, and Vulgarity.  She is also called upon to destroy love, push love and lust, and represents our most base emotions.

By her own definition, she is hard to define. She doesn’t even always manifest as a she!  Apparently, her spirit can also take men when she manifests.

Bonus:  A few videos of people who follow Pomba Gira, in her many different forms!

Festival Of Maria Mulambo das Sete Catacumbas (Lame Mary of the Seven Tombs)

Pomba Gira Cigana (Gypsy Pomba Gira)

Maria Padilha (Queen of the Marys)

Other forms of Pomba Gira:

  • Maria Padilha (Queen of the Marys)
  • Pomba Gira Cigana (Gypsy Pomba Gira)
  • Pomba Gira Rainha (Queen Pomba Gira)
  • Pomba Gira Arrepiada (Creeped Pomba Gira)
  • Maria Molambo
  • Rosa Caveira (Rose Skull, literally)
  • Pomba Gira das Sete Encruzilhadas (Pomba Gira of the Seven Crossroads)
  • Pomba Gira dos 7 Cruzeiros da Calunga (Pomba Gira of the Seven Crosses of Kalunga)
  • Pomba Gira Mirongueira (Enchantress Pomba Gira)
  • Maria Quitéria
  • Rainha das Rainhas (Queen of Queens)
  • Pomba Gira Mocinha (Young Girl Pomba Gira)
  • Rainha Sete Encruzilhadas (Queen Seven Crossroads)
  • Rainha do Cemitério (Queen of the Graveyard)
  • Pomba Gira das Almas (Pomba Gira of the Souls)
  • Praia (Beach)
  • Dama da Noite (Lady of the Night)
  • Pomba Gira Sete Calungas (Pomba Gira Seven Kalungas)
  • Maria Mulambo das Sete Catacumbas (literally, Lame Mary of the Seven Tombs)

Listen, Ph.D.’s more well versed in these things have written tomes about it, and still understand that they couldn’t truly express it all clearly.  So I make no attempts at pretending that my research even scratches the surface.  

What I can tell you is that we may not be able to control why or who objectified us, or the doors they open for us. Just make sure you seriously research what may be on the other side before you say yes or no.


YusefWateef (AT) Gmail (DOT) Com


  1. Pingback: So You Don’t Like Black Guys, & I Don’t Like Witches Roses! |
  2. Marilyn

    Love it. A well written piece. We all have a preference. It does not have to translate into racism. Because liking big women/men or taller women/men or super model types does not have a word/stigma. Some people say openly : ´´I love brunettes or I loveblondes´´ and no-one calls them anything. They describe it as a preference. I know Vegans who won´t date non Vegans. Some religious people don´t date outside their religion. They don’t get accused of a ´´ism´´. We just like and prefer different things as people. We are unique and we all know what gets the heart racing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. t3hgrandadmiral

    People should be entitled to their preferences. It just sucks to be a loser. I hate the fact that Northeast Asian women don’t dig Brothas, but I also hate people telling me that I should go for latinas or filipinas when I’m not into them. Can’t have it both ways. We just have to take our L’s.


    • YusefWateef

      You and I keep bumping into different sides of the same coin. I never found that “Northeast Asian women don’t dig Brothas”, I have found many women that weren’t into me, but I have found even more that were. Thats been true for me all over the world. My friends have mostly had similar experiences, regardless of what color they were.


  4. Amanda

    About pomba gira, you need not worry. I’m fascinated by religions and met many of them… The conclusion I reached is that the entities are not bad, people are.


  5. Jennie

    It is usually more of why you do what you do (or who you do in this case) that makes you a racist than the act alone. I agree that the heart (and the body) wants what the heart (and the body) wants, and we should all feel free to pursue what makes us happy. If, however, you’re not into black guys because you think they aren’t very smart or your mom won’t approve…well..I think you’re a racist. But, of course, I’m into black dudes.


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