Category: Dating

Discomfort Zone!

I came back from a birthday celebration for my friend Renée, the action was awesome! I was even able to take a life lesson away that a man who can’t dance taught me.  

I’ve always held to the belief that comfort is the enemy of Men.  If we aren’t pushing ourselves to live on the edge of life, then we aren’t learning or growing.   That’s why I always jump headlong into the Discomfort Zone!

Good Women Are Like Old T-Shirts.

     She’s a lovely woman, whose beauty is still in full bloom. She wanted to talk to me, to ask for advice. She asked about things she thinks she’ll need to know “Later, when I want a husband, like you.” She and I don’t have any pretentiousness in our relationship. We have an easy freedom of conversation that’s more honest than what most men and women will ever have.

     I explained to her that most men view a good woman the same way he sees his favorite old t-shirt, and that’s a good thing. I spent quite a while unpacking my reasoning with her.

This is why she wants to be a t-shirt now. ~>

White Enough To Feed Your Self Hatred; Black Enough Not To Piss Off Your Family!

Jessica made a profound statement!  She was talking about men, and the difficult, awkward, sometimes insulting ways they she’s been approached. When she said that after particularly insensitive comments from some men, she confronts them on their poor choice of words with ”So, I’m White enough to feed your self-hatred, but Black enough not to piss off your family?”

I was floored!  After that, I asked her to really dig in and unpack her thoughts.  This is what she came back with.


     Self-hatred comes in several forms, from subtle to overt. It can be expressed as “woe is me” self-loathing, or it can be projected on to others in order to deflect attention. For generations, it has been common for Black Americans to practice self-hatred.  It’s a common practice; a tradition rooted in slavery and passed down from parent to child.

Bear with me.